Prevalence of Flaky People in Tabletop Games

[Urizen]

The amount of people who demonstrate flakiness and inability-to-focus in tabletop games is outrageous.
1. I've never had it take two hours to start any other game because people wouldn't shut up. If starting an RPG game is something you're avoiding because it's too much work then don't agree to play it, for Chrestos' sake.
2. I've had people flake out on me for other occasions, but never so frequently and without apparent qualms as in RPGs.
It would be one thing if the people were not interested, or bored by the game. But a good number of these people never bothered to send me their character sheets, and many never messaged me back after specifically requesting to play in my game.

The first is more of a problem in-real-life, while the second is more common online (endemic, really). Why does it seem most people can't sit down and reliably play to save their lives? I suspect half of them have no idea what they're doing and aren't really interested. It doesn't seem like a big deal to blow it off like a game of Counter-Strike. On the other hand, people tend to do less - MMO players are a lot less flakey than PnP players.

Given how long it takes to set up any kind of campaign, to learn the rules and to develop a story and characters in most roleplaying games, these people are being total dicks. This is also probably a downside of Roll20 and ease-of-access: the more accessible something is, the more uncommitted dummies you get swimming around. I mean, how much effort does it take to reply to a fucking text message, even if it's to say 'FACK OFF DM! I FOUND A BETTAR GAYM!" Are people so illiterate that following up text messages is so time consuming? Or are they just too socially retarded to realise they're being serial dickbags?

This is probably compounded by the fact that I am interested (pretty much exclusively) in 'hardcore' roleplaying, 'screwing around' and killing shit for no reason is an irritating waste of time and a shitty replacement for a video game. I feel like a lot of people in RPGs are playing the wrong game.

The only time I have ever missed an RPG game I agreed to attend was when I unexpectedly lost internet, and I told the person about it before game time. I always fill out my sheets and read the rule books. However, it's such a pain in the ass to find a DM worth his salt who isn't already busy with IRL players that I'm pretty much always on the DM side of the screen.

I know that this issue with flakiness isn't just me, but it does seem to be more prevalent in RPGs than in most social scenes I've heard of.

[tgmoore]

The proof is in the pursuit. That being said leisure/hobby activities are the first thing people axe when there are schedule conflicts.

[Snowbody]

Tabletop gaming has a reputation of being accepting of anybody. I actually think that's one of the most positive aspects of the hobby. Many people who have difficulty with social interaction or situations feel comfortable enough to attend, knowing their imperfections won't be judged -- and that's great! Unfortunately, the same openness also attracts people who want to deliberately breach social norms, or who don't care about others' feelings: "there are no standards, I can act however I want".

My personal experience is that if it's someone I know, I can judge whether they're going to "flake out" or not. But I can't trust others' judgments, even people who have proven trustworthy have "really great friends" who have their paladin PC Intimidate (with threats of dismemberment) a town guard who's actually being helpful or take the townmaster hostage in a fit of pique after a failure of Diplomacy.

Yes, it's a disappointment when people disappear without a trace. Try not to take it personally. They haven't seen all the work you did; from their POV they can't tell if you just threw it all together on the bus ride over or downloaded something at the last minute.

You also have to consider the emotion of guilt. It's a lot more present for some than others. If someone has made a commitment to you but can't make it (for whatever reason) they may feel too guilty to respond to you, so blowing you off seems easier for them. It's not a matter of time involved; it's the psychic pain they'd feel by acknowledging they failed a commitment.

[Blood axe]

Some odd first posts.

Mmo players aren't as flaky as tabletop players? Disagree. The safety of the computer screen let's people say things they never would face to face.

I don't think gamers in general are any stranger than some people I've known at work, bars, etc.

Your experiences may differ.

[J.L. Duncan]

Good Rant

*snip*

This is probably compounded by the fact that I am interested (pretty much exclusively) in 'hardcore' roleplaying, 'screwing around' and killing shit for no reason is an irritating waste of time and a shitty replacement for a video game. I feel like a lot of people in RPGs are playing the wrong game..

I felt similar a few years ago. I got together with a bunch of unknowns. The idea being we were to play a one-shot that may develop into something else-characters were pregenerated, the game I thought and wanted to play was changed... The game did not go well. I mean players were off figuring out things like how to turn a profit on some black marketed items instead of getting into the story and the GM allowed this.

I was thinking: "Why are we doing this?" This is a one Shot!?! Or in other words, lets get to the story instead of worrying how much profit you can turn-it's irrelevant to the story... I wasn't happy and mentioned out of character to the group that we should be getting on with the story going, but everybody in the group went along with the other stuff... Not much I could do. Eventually when it got late, I feigned tiredness and took a nap. I would have left but the game was out of town-and I had taken a ride... Side Note: Never take a ride to a new game. Drive your own car instead.

*Snip*

I know that this issue with flakiness isn't just me, but it does seem to be more prevalent in RPGs than in most social scenes I've heard of.

Naw, it's everywhere. People are late and don't show up all the time.

Really hard to get players to show up. After GMing two different games online-I just stopped. Like you said, the game takes awhile to write-and its frustrating that the only time you get the group together is that first time. Someone always misses. A way to combat this is to create mini adventures; and limit the party to a specific town. That way everybody remains-big stories just don't work, unless you've got a committed group of players.